About Allanah Hunt

You Could Say I’ve Been Through A Lot In My Lifetime

 

That statement certainly felt true to me for a very long time. In fact for over 30 years, I played the blame game. It was a game I couldn’t win but I had identified so strongly with my story that I didn’t know how else to be.

 

Don’t get me wrong. My experiences were very real and they left deep wounds that seemed impossible to heal.

 

For many years I held on to my story. You could say I had good reason to.

 

But there came a point when I grew tired of repeating painful patterns. I got tired of losing over and over again.

 

On a desperate day I took a good hard look in the mirror and asked myself a very difficult question;

 

“What’s the common denominator in all these experiences?”

 

The answer was difficult to accept but it was a truth that changed my life forever.

The common denominator was me.

 

Yes, stuff happened to me when I was too young to do anything about it. 

 

Yes, those experienced shaped me into who I had become.

 

And although the experiences I created as an adult were driven by the patterns of the past, I could either keep going round and round in circles creating one painful experience after another while blaming others for my reality or …

 

I could take ownership of my life and learn how to create something different

 

 

 

I’d been hiding behind the story I’d been telling myself

 

A story that was keeping me stuck. A story that was killing me …

A story that included:

  • Being raised by a single parent
  • 15 formative years in a strict religious church
  • Childhood trauma/abuse
  • Bullying
  • Teenage pregnancy and marriage
  • Divorce
  • Broken relationships
  • Business collapse
  • Near bancruptcy
  • Depression and debilitating anxiety

It’s a true story and my earliest experiences taught me a lot.

 

I learned I was unloveable, invisible and that I had no value

 

I learned people were cruel, untrustworthy, and that even when I tried my best, it wasn’t enough.

 

I learned I deserved to be punished

 

I learned I was ugly, stupid, unacceptable, a nuisance, an embarrassment, a freak, a weirdo, somebody no-one could like.

 

As a result I expected to be rejected. I expected to be punished. I expected to be hurt.

Life taught me I had no power, that it wasn’t safe to be me and that I needed to protect myself at all costs.

 

The lessons I had learned early in life had created expectations that were showing up in my attitude, responses, behavior and choices and ultimately creating my reality